I bet your job is demanding. You have a boss to please and deadlines to meet. You might even have a commute to deal with and some crappy co-workers who annoy you. Plus, you have to manage all the other stuff in your life that doesn’t go away when you’re at work. A household to oversee and, maybe, you also have a partner to please and busy kids and/or pets to keep up with. The left over time is all for you. Left over. HA! Are you kidding me….is there ever any time “left over”?! No, and where does that leave your needs?
So many of us are chasing the ever elusive desire for “work life balance”. What’s the secret to creating this desired balance? Is it even possible? I can’t answer this for you, but you hold your answer. As individuals, we are the singular authority on when this balance is achieved and in order to truly answer this big question, we must first know what it is we’re searching for.
The helpful exploration ideas below are taken from the article, The Quest for Balance: 4 Powerful Questions to Inspire Real Change published by the International Coach Federation.
- What exactly are you trying to balance? Our lives are a unique tapestry. In seeking balance, we must first get specific and define the groups of things we want to balance. The roles we play, the commitments we have, the person we want to foster within ourselves. Make a high level list of the groups or categories you want to balance then under each, get specific about all the things that belong underneath.
- How will achieving balance impact your life? Change more smoothly occurs when our “why” is clear. What would you gain by finding this balance? What will it give you that you don’t already have? What consequences do you face if you remain out of balance? Consider journaling this out if that’s your thing, or you could have this conversation with a trusted friend. However you best get your thoughts out, do that.
- Where is the imbalance? Now you know where you want to create change, how to start? In order to get where you’re going, first you have to know where you are and this requires commitment to do it well. The ideal scenario to tackle this is with good, solid information about where you’re spending your time currently. Over one week, record the time you spent in each of things you identified within your groups.
- What areas of your life do you have to focus/refocus to move toward your personal balance? Choose two or three high impact areas to focus on first. Then choose the one or two things to stop focusing on. You will have to say no to something/someone in order to say yes to others. This will be hard, you will need help. Create a support system to assist in your efforts. Daily reminders, post its, or whatever helps ground you in your why and the impact that your balance will bring.
I had an amazing coaching client who was juggling and struggling at work and at home. She felt like a failure as an employee, mother, spouse…and she felt like she had lost herself somewhere in her efforts to “do it all”. She couldn’t understand how everyone else successfully manage everything but she couldn’t (at least that’s what it looked like on social media). My client was desperate to regain control and feel effective again, so we got to work. First, we dove into what her life looked like in that moment. All the directions she was being pulled, the people, and things that demanded her time. An early insight was that she took on everything herself, she did this at work and at home; she rarely asked for or accepted help. Next, she considered her ideal state and finally, options to achieve it. My client made some tough choices. She decided to have hard conversations with her partner about taking on more at home. She decided to delegate more to a junior team member. She decided to move her child to a new, closer school. These and other choices helped her see that there was time available to care for herself. She began taking daily walks and reading again. My client realized she needed to care for herself before she could be effective for others who counted on her. It was not an easy journey, but years later, I still hear from her and know that she’s never looked back from this important breakthrough. Not all days are perfect, but she remains grounded in her new mindset. She credits this change for improving every single facet of her work and home life. Wow!
Does work life balance feel achievable?
Here’s what I think, balance does feel elusive in our world of competing and ever shifting priorities, but what about a quest for harmony? Harmony allows room for change and flex, it removes the feeling of “always” in favor of “right now”. Sure it’s still a journey, but it feels achievable. Are you struggling to find a more effective place of balance/harmony? I can help you identify areas where you can say no, so you can begin saying yes more where it counts, contact me today for a free consultation.